real people with fake id's
outside on the pavement
minibus drawn up
group of boys/one girl hovering
all the other girls are in a car behind
BOY 2>can i talk now?! chad's got nits!
couple of helpers get out of another car
BB big reaction spots MARIA
BB>maria maria [ almost like west side story ]
thought she wasnae coming back ?
CRAZYHORSE>she misses you guys
three boys exit and rock the van
BB into the mike
BB>we're going bowling !
BOY 1>we're on live !
CRAZYHORSE gets in and there's a big scream from the back
HOVERING GIRL tunes in the radio heading for 102.5fm
tunes cut by
BOY 2>put your balls in
BOY 1>matt's mingin' a bush
MATT hardly ever talks
CRAZYHORSE tells HGIRL she can go back in the car
BB leans through and turns the radio up over the engine noise
signs read: kingston bridge glasgow airport greenock
boys namecheck ibrox as it goes past
sunday mail sunday mirror complexes
REDSTRIPE>daily record huh huh
someone sounds like beavis and butthead
into the xs superbowl
mad carpet with skyscrapers like the chrysler building and
the empire state on it
a wimpy and a jolly jollies pushap'ny
split for shoes
five boys on homer's meltdown and cash gordon slot machines
shoes are half and half red and white + a crepe sole
GLITTAQUEEN>like my shoes ?
on the lanes
signs: bowling shoes must be worn/no food and drink beyond
group splits boys ||| girls on lanes 11 12 13
screens above the lanes gridded for playing ten games
players' names down the left
name comes up i've seen at the no.11 bus stop and up in provanmill
in tipex graffitti
just stare for a while
BULLITT sends a ball down a lane and knocks ten pins over
mix>you get two shots/don't put me on that/idiot/john
got six/you press the wee button
SWEDEN and BEIGE go
DRAGON gets REDSTRIPE onto the lane
DRAGON>press your name in and your name comes up
REDSTRIPE'S got a bad hand
Eights go down nines and tens
GERMAN GIRL (helper) and ED
ED> shall we have a go
ED>shall we have a go
GG>i don't know is it ok ? can we ?
ED>i think probably
GG>i'd like to try it
CRAZYHORSE>we'll see how many we count back on the bus
as long as we're kind of there, i've got the consent forms
that's all that matters, go through them and count them
ED>oh my god ha ha
GLITTAQUEEN'S thrown one down like a netball
it rolls down the lane and she strikes ten
SWEDEN goes nawwhhh
DRAGON and BEIGE fakefight
TURQUOISE on the girls' lane with a bacardi breezer watches
MCKENNA (with a halo in her hair) gets fingers stuck in an
sounds like fireworks night
30 40 67 scores on the boys' lanes
talk to CHEVRON about the guy's name i saw at the bus stop
CHEVRON>go pal him up, he's a vandal
HGIRL tips her ball
it rolls sloowwww and she gets an eight
GLITTAQUEEN backhands it down
GLITTAQUEEN style: flared stonewash jeans with frayed hem
glitter up the sides
blonde hair in a pink flat scrunchie
ED+GERMAN GIRL>here she goes wow..wow !
TURQUOISE sends down between her last two pins and smacks
GLITTAQUEEN goes puce coughing
GLITTAQUEEN does the jerry lee lewis finger at HGIRL
goes down the channel
okey cokey dance on the way back
ED>o my god she's holding it over her head
trak:special aka_free nelson mandela
HGIRL gently dumps a fluorescent yellow ball in GLITTAQUEEN'S
GLITTAQUEEN wagglebum adjusts jeans and netballs it one more
TURQUOISE runs up behind gives her a litle push
GLITTAQUEEN gets an eight
bit of smack hands and face between them
suddenly there's three balls on the lane
staff style: red stripe shirt front
plain white back with three bowling pins motif
ask BULLITT how he did
he says 125 brilliant
GLITTAQUEEN sings at school says a helper
TURQUOISE sends a good one down
licks her index
puts it in the air
trak:wet wet wet_love is all around
GLITTAQUEEN>i see you picking your knickers
she picks her knickers out her arse
TURQUOISE starts smothering GLITTA to stop her saying it
GLITTAQUEENmix>she picks ha ha/she/she wah wah wah/hahhscream
/wait til she goes and takes her shot !
ED>turquoise wears a thong...?
GLITTAQUEEN>aye she thinks they're a pair of knickers so
she keeps pulling them out of her arse
ED>why's your friend so cruel to you ?
TURQUOISE>she's not !
GLITTAQUEEN>mckenna wears a wig !
and that's not on her head !
ED>oh it's my turn !
cokes and burgers turn up
boys pack around oblong tables under their lanes
girls still playing
SWEDEN sorts through sachets in sauce basket
SWEDEN>any tomato ?
GIRL>there's no tomato only barbecue
trak:beegees_how deep is your love
ED>sing it for me !
TURQUOISE>sing on that
swivels her little finger
beegees is the walkout music
past candyman crane/gacha dispenser/weird l-shaped pool table
back in the boys' van
mix>for f***s sake you weren't here/who wasnae here/i'm
sitting here/shift the noo
CHEVRON>what's this going to be like on the website
DRAGON>you're joking we're not even on the royston road
ED>no...what would be a better name ?
ED>ie but it's got to have royston in it as well
BB>get them tunes blasting !
CHEVRON>come and celebrate
BB>one more time blackhill
PIRELLI is next to BB
PIRELLI>right i'll be the guide on the bus
now you see we're at a little junction
and there's a big church thing
on your left there's a wee shop with
a guy in a jacket
CHEVRON>there's a guy wet himself
PIRELLI>and to your left there's a red fence and a big
CHEVRON>there's a guy naked going up the hill
BB>are we going to hear this
ED>ie well you'll see it written down
CHEVRON>you're not cutting any out ?
BOY 2>words like fanny and prick and jobbies ?
BB goes into the most notorious part of_the exorcist
BOY 2>if craxsie's listening to this, craxsie you're no
you're robbing a house...with your uncle
BB>tonner shovel teeth he goes up to the phone box with
one teeth screws in into the money bit
CHEVRON>that's what he picks locks with
BB>does someone have to type all this out
whistling and sucking sounds
BOY 2>we're all going back to beverly hills
i mean blackhill
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